Binder of all bonds – Mother & Daughter in law

Happy disclaimer: This may be not be a general perspective but only an effort  to light a candle in an ever existent ignored corner of our lives.

A relationship when strained begins to develop premature wrinkles and overtime become recklessly stubborn and untreatable but when it’s a smooth ride then these may just be natural signs of aging 😛

Such is a relationship between mother in law and daughter in law. The most important one for an overall harmonious and normal temperature 😛 and atmosphere in a household. Also, for a natural and relatively cozy coexistence for other relationships.

Going back to school, the easiest topic for essay writing would have been “mother”. And even today for all those in 30’s, 40’s and 50’s+ generation, it still is. How about adding “in law” to it today?
Strange, addition of two words makes you fall short of any.. not because it’s an overflowing sea of words but you hardly thought of describing her to that length. It being such a controversial topic. We all have seen the negative side from all corners of our society, it’s omnipresent.  Let’s take a peek into the positive, it may be not mine/yours but it’s always beneficial to one’s mental health to look at a blooming angle. Because it does exist.

Let’s for once, narrate the story from her side, try and exchange shoes with her though the size is extremely big. Let’s try.

Trifling back the pages of time, the flashback when she got married.

So, after marriage just like you as a daughter in law there were expectations of varied kinds and more diverse. Every time she was choked with emotions, there was no shadow around unlike now. The man at that time was on a 24 hour mandatory shift of family not to mention there still existed a virtual uncut umbilical cord between him and his mother.

Concepts like”privacy, space etc” did not exists. She may be a holder of eminent degrees and talents, but financial independence can never be her cup of tea, that’s the born prodigy of the superior race. Career meant bringing up the kids, the sole onus of a woman of house.
The time when her own parents irrespective of situation advised her to …………….hold on.

Strangely and fortunately she no longer wishes to pass on the legacy, such is the reversal that she no longer wishes to repeat the history. True happiness lies in being respected not in front of audiences from under a veil but in the eyes of her extended version. She feels it. This version of hers is young and has dreams, can be naive but is responsible. Her cupboard of priorities is different, but the family is on top shelf and no matter what there settles no dust. She is not laden with responsibilities all at once, instead she undergoes a training program of times and occasions. These times can be a function in house, a kitty party, wedding of relative, rituals at home etc. All this along with her existing work life. She is seasoned accordingly one step at a time.

Today, being a part of ever evolving society where the gender gap is shrinking, not at the expected pace, but it is. This reduced gap is because of numerous factors and one of them is the fulcrum, a woman’s better half. This better half is the result of quite a quality breeding in his childhood.  His mother had fed values of equality in his system.. “There is no such thing as superior sex”. A sight of a guy carrying a tray of tea and biscuits can be objectionably weird to guests but not to the family. It is the result of this upbringing structure that he takes stand for his mate, for her self esteem and it’s not tagged with lame adjectives. It’s categorically normal.

How the narrative reminds me of a movie ‘Dear Zindagi’ a scene where the psychiatrist asks the female protagonist (also the patient) who has had a troublesome childhood owing to her parents. He offers her a plain simple remedy, one we never ever think of. Why don’t we for once bring down our parents from the throne of such an honored and flawless position, consider them as human? Human who commit mistakes, repent and are guilty. This can be “the” mantra for any relationship to take its course for better. For younger generation, the daughter in law of today to mend differences if any. We easily justify in challenging times. “It’s because I am not her daughter”. Well the arrow can be reversed at pointed at you “It’s because she is not your mother”. With her shoe still on, how I wish we salute her for the times she has so heroically surfaced and how we can express the gratitude for all that she taught us in an unforced manner, for not judging us for many flaws and let us breathe. And most importantly she just lets me be, “me”. No terms and conditions applied.

Vogue Radar:

The photos are random events in due course, ones which taught me a lot of how to pass the legacy further with all affirmatives.

Wedding of a relative

The Superwoman

A family trip to Goa

 

 

The real woman or the superwoman or both??

Happy disclaimer: This is the produce of whatsoever I have experienced on the specific subject in my 30 years of life. What I have noticed as a kid, as a student, as a working woman, as a wife, as a sister…..(in my life and of those surrounding me.. from all walks). This might not be a general proposition but just a minuscule perspective.

The time where we are, a striking conversation physically is the most taxing way of communication; we are more complacent in texting to some stranger rather than talking to someone, sitting next to us. A single liner post …posting your opinion.. plethora of judgments. One such topic is real women.

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The Right Brush

Happy Disclaimer: The mention of face as canvas comes out of the thought process of my bridal makeup artist (around 3 years back), hence, ‘The Right Brush’ is not original.

How important is the right kind of brush for any kind of painting? Only the painter would know, the sleek one for eyes, the bigger one for a bigger canvas or sometimes none. How about taking your face as canvas, neither am I an artist nor a painter. Just trying to look from an artist’s eyes. How does she/he look at you? What goes on  in her mind when she looks at you/lays her eyes on you for the first time? It’s all about making every facial feature more talkative, more expressive. How she can give life to those surreal eyes, how can she pull every object out there to it’s admiration. How can she carve those cheeks into the most striking feature?

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Obsolete Simplicity

Obsolete Simplicity

It is magnanimous when we say we truly understand someone/thing. We perceive it and enjoy the state of awareness and the new knowledge. Focus of the universe is directed towards the result and not the factors – factors by which the wisdom is acquired. While all the brownie points go to the recipient, someone who had a bandwidth to grasp, adopt and assimilate in a desired manner, we never mention the one who made us understand it (the factor). While we always appreciate the report card, we forget to take a look at its writer. This writer can be anyone, not necessarily one with a degree. One who explains it in the best comprehensible manner. One who knows that the best way to make someone understand a thing, and that…….one needs to start from the very basic: Simple.

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The Shift

Brain feeds on your thoughts, it depends on you to select the menu. Whether it is the oily and greasy thoughts or the healthy ones. It chews and digests like an unassuming machine. In return it produces positive/negative energy due to a phenomenon what we call a “preconceived notion”. This is the reason why changes are not always/rarely welcome. Continue Reading

Transit – the real journey

Dates are sealed, tickets are booked and all the related aspects are well planned and covered. We have everything figured out and of we go with the  destination in our mind. But here I want to focus today on an often ignored part – The Transit. We all share the destinations we cover during our journeys but all we can actually recall are the moments.. these moments can be an awe inspiring natural beauty or a ride with someone special or just the gossip mongering of friends in that over night train journey. Continue Reading

Silence: Empty envelope or a bag of pure patience

Happy Disclaimer : This was a speech delivered in a public speaking competition during my graduation days. Though there are kiddish references and instances that may seem vague now, I did not change it. Because I feel few things like innocence need not be updated according to time.

“What if prior to this competition I have actually stolen my friend’s script, I come here, speak it out in an exquisite manner and get awarded for the same. And guess who is the first person to applaud for me.. the very same friend. Then, won’t my legs shake with the burden of that guilt in my heart and would I ever be able to look back in her eyes again. To be precise her silence would kill me. Continue Reading

Accidental ‘Self Discovery’

VogueRadar by Kakul Singh

Have we ever wondered what if Sachin Tendulkar never tried his hands at cricket or Amitabh Bachchan never thought that acting was his cup of tea or say Shakespeare had taken up cooking? Had not this discovery of their own happened, of this one part of themselves? Wonder then whether we would even know the names of the most illustrious personalities today or not, names that would be sung by generations to come. With the belief that there are as many as homo sapiens as the number of stars in the sky and the equivalent amount of talent. Further poking and pinching the thought, I stop to ponder, how many of us actually try/ fail to discover what is “it “ that we have. A very popular saying “The best of the talents are found in the graveyard, coz their lies the true untapped potential of human mind.” Continue Reading