There are out there infinite versions of marriage, it is considered the most supreme relationship. But somehow I wonder, how we completely forget to appreciate beneath the surface feature of this machinery, the nuts and bolts which keep it together & functioning for the plumiest span of our lives.
My version of marriage:
Marriage ceremony comprises of vows that are never paid the much deserved attention/remembered. No one does (neither did I :P). These vows somehow evolve as a summarization of the storms and rainbows in the lives of two individuals.
This summary is not about those tender moments when you were holding hands.. but. when you did not leave each other’s hand. That moment when your reflection may seem ugly to your own self, your guilt pulling you to some pit.. that moment when the other half is like a waft of fresh air on a sweaty forehead, whispering “Look into my eyes.. you will see.. how special you are to me. Let me take your guilt and throw it..” the intense moments when even the most suicidal moment became the ivory tower to you.
What makes this bond a star is pain. Yes, pain, grief, sorrow and all the thesaurus terms one can quote. How much you have seen together and how far you have walked when the road was strenuous. Memories are often associated with good times but here the ticking point is how smoothly you have handled a storm, how all the differences curb down in times of need (utmost important factor.. elephantine egos!!!)
Another salient feature can be bareness. You accept the other person in the darkest shade, where the confession of a guilt is not confession but a communication to your own self. The same way when a pain in one hand is felt by the entire body, a tickle in a sec makes the whole being jump.. so is the marriage where two entities become one for relativity to emotions but not when it comes to individuality.
Marriage has been there in the system as a single entity, needs to be broken down for understanding. It’s an amalgamation of two different personalities and you can’t club both. It’s all about the sync and harmony you play all along. Rightly said, there is only one Victor but today there two different peaks having their own conquerors. If you respect each other’s challenges you by default respect the person, you value his efforts no matter what the results are. If you pick each pebble surpassed on the way and appreciate it, the trophy becomes pointless.
The only relationship where the knot is not a suppressed wound but the dot to create a not so straight line.
The goodbye word: Love from a heart that is bursting and out there it pours and pours & it explodes to see the recipient getting drenched in joy of downpour.. of affection.
India, perhaps the only country in the world where there is no limit to heterogeneity of culture, religion, language etc. From every state to every village each has it’s own unique pattern of celebration. The same distinct patterns follow their course when it comes to marriage. I opened the article laying weight on the essence of marriage and want my last one to be the very starting point of this journey: the wedding day.
Weddings celebrations for we Indians are such spicy part of our lives, that we would give a good laugh at the thought of describing it to someone.. we either attend or be a part of someone else’s. The celebration of all things to do with merriment. All marriages are same on that parameter until it’s your own. :P. The wedding day, the new start of honestly of…..???? You have no clue!!!
Extraordinary is the experience when one gets a chance to attend a wedding outside his/her own culture. For me, it was a chance to be part of a South Indian wedding. Contrary to the belief, just like in North India there are multiple variety of weddings: Punjabi, Brahmin, Kashmiri pandits, Pahadi and so on.. South Indians weddings are diverse too. Differs from state to state. The one we attended was Tamil wedding. Unlike the North, these wedding are relatively simple. Beautiful kanjeevarams making you feel as if you are in an exclusive showroom, the gajras sitting on the hair of ladies not like an accessory but an integral part of custom. We were informed that reception is before the wedding and the wedding is to take place in the morning (biggest difference :P).
Being a South Indian wedding in Coimbatore (of mate’s friend), I had to wear silk sari (not that I need any reason for that).When it comes to accessorizing, few things are quintessential according to individualistic preference. Mine are flowers, specifically the gajra.. any occasion. 😀
But also, this time I did not want the regular gajra on bun, something distinctive. Also, it was a totally new place to look out for any parlor and neither did I have the energy nor the time (like always :P). So, I decided to give the traditional braid a shot with gajra running through it, like a creeper. In north, had never seen such a fresh, fragrant and bright gajra. I so longed to take a basket full back home. Had a hard time draping this sari, was a bit heavy, sigh!!!. Took the mate’s help via putting forth logic – like you see this plait, the others have to come exactly like this and parallel to it. I was stupefied with end results.
I find this silk sari a bit offbeat due to it’s geometric gold patterns running through, instead of the regular contrast borders. The traditional green and maroon colors continue to complement each other till date. These jhumkas are my go to earrings for silk saris when I am in a rush/confused.
For the morning wedding I wore a simple long yellow kurta with a mirrored skirt. The dupatta I carried is completely hand done by mum & thus I have preserved it in my wardrobe. Had to board flight in two hours, hence nothing extravagant on the list.
As I landed in Delhi donning the same gajra with denims (one I adorned in the morning function), I was welcomed with weird gestures from Delhites and…. I set my pins to secure it. 😀
Sari: Chandni Chowk
Earrings: Much More
Kurta & Skirt : Kakul
Dupatta : Kakul’s Mum
Makeup & Hair: Kakul
The last string of the gift finally undone and what I find is an album print and safely pasted in my mind, I can open anytime and dive in reveries..