Happy disclaimer: This is the produce of whatsoever I have experienced on the specific subject in my 30 years of life. What I have noticed as a kid, as a student, as a working woman, as a wife, as a sister…..(in my life and of those surrounding me.. from all walks). This might not be a general proposition but just a minuscule perspective.
The time where we are, a striking conversation physically is the most taxing way of communication; we are more complacent in texting to some stranger rather than talking to someone, sitting next to us. A single liner post …posting your opinion.. plethora of judgments. One such topic is real women.
Today’s real women vis-à-vis yesterday’s women
Today’s real women :
Present day’s woman without an ounce of apprehension is a superwoman . She has all the balls high up in the air and she catches each one of them, that’s her balance. But….she also has a shadow behind her. Her man who trusts her and confides more than her for perfect fielding. He’s only standing there not for a helping hand but to catch her. Just in case she falls. He is the underpin.
Over the span, looking with admiration at some of the greatest success stories like Indra Nooyi or Chanda Kochar or any woman you know,we must acknowledge the fact that the entire system has evolved. Today most international organizations have a mandate to employ a %age of female employees, 6 months maternity leaves etc. Educating the girl child is no more peculiar. Parents split their finances on education of kids equally. If it requires the daughter to study abroad then so be it.
Choosing a life partner is no more parent’s birthright (or even before when they were born). The x chromosome can deny the union anytime :P. Such a pity that right to life has now been endowed upon her.
Recently, a colleague told me she interviewed for a late sitting profile. I asked with a scorn, “So, they wanted to showcase, see we interview female employees too.”
Stunned by reply,”They called me and clearly stated the same. You wont believe this was the most intriguing interview. I learnt so much that I still need to learn”.
She knows the importance of her education, how much sweat of her parents have gone into it. She makes a mark at each turn for no one but herself. She worries at work for kids. Googles for what is required. Gives surprises to mate. But when she falls sick after the visible/invisible loads of world on her head, the cup of tea is offered.
The questions on her ability to manage work life by camaraderie and blood is handled by that shadow. How she’s running the house is the couple’s prerogative, no one else’s.
A woman who is at home, sees other women of same qualification conquering the sky…..there comes a shadow saying “I see my kids content and the reason is you”. How she juggles to find out time for herself even though gets encountered with the same line,”Oh, you at home…you must be getting ample time. Why don’t you exercise?” How she swallows hysteria and the same shadow says ,”You want to..tell me how..lets do it”.
This shadow is just not that but the fulcrum of extant real woman whether at work or home. This particular breed knows it’s just a difference of gender, our roles are divided as per law of nature. No one is secondary. Many a times while taking a walk in mall you notice a man carrying the kid happily and his lady is doing her things. This is the man of today who just let’s her be.
Women of yesterday….our moms,grandmothers,great grand mother’s… :
There was no shadow at that time, only a line. Strict defined line, one that divided the house and finances. This woman without a crib would do what it takes to run a house. Basic errands like cleaning, cooking, washing, utensils for all three meals a day. PS..there were no conveniences at that time not because you couldn’t afford it but a rock solid reason. Lady of the house is meant to do all . Pregnancy or no pregnancy, chores were already her babies.
Just starting with a belief that being a woman in her 30’s, and all the women +/- one generation or even more, their mothers are real superheroes. They had no support structure. A clock which is always on the run and the battery status does not count. If she’s a stay at home mother then she’s doing all the imaginable/unimaginable chores without a stance of expectation and there you would hear no such terms as sacrifice. She’s an abode of talents, that you would come to know while she’s singing in kitchen besides a radio; cooking meal for kids about to return from school. Or through that painting hanging in her bedroom with a settled layer of dust noone bothered to wipe, not even she. Sometimes her own kids get startled while going through a pile of old papers, a certificate of best rifle shooter,”Mom is that you???”. She was a rose that you come to know while flipping through old pictures with just a bindi and lipstick. Her rainbow smile with kids…she regrets nothing. Articulating on the working mom at that time, she will do everything to make sure her absence is not even discovered, hence all chores done. She’s striving hard to provide a better future for her offspring. She attains the satisfaction when she fulfills the last demand of her kids.
As this woman sees us; the kids of today, how the bridge of gender has been broken down and both swim together. One helping another, no duties defined. The same mother, feeling angelic when she sees her son caring for his wife, her son in law like a true prince makes her daughter achieve what she wants to.
Today when a simple baked cake is showcased as the 8th wonder on social media, how this generation of mothers cooked delicacies listening radio and served for an entire clan. Quietly cleared the dishes, word of appreciation is only when her kids ask mom,” I want to have that sweet dish again”. When after a little while, vacation abroad is a basic thing for the couple and family. Her idea of vacation was when kids used to visit grandmothers house in breaks. Today where a label brought from an outlet is termed as a look, her restricted dressing was way more artistic without effort. Where there is a photoshoot for everything, how she used to keep camera roll reserve for the unexpected cute moments of her kids and mind you those are the pictures that stir you. When every bday party is like a marriage affair like a wedding planning, how she used to make kids play at parties followed by all sorts of home-made delicacies.(Till date I have a memory of South Indian family staying next to us and how she used to make small dosas for us at her girls bday).
An era where international standards of education are chosen for kids, some mother somewhere must have struggled to get her daughter into convent.”Why girls need to study in convent if at all? You are making them study that’s enough”. For every good deed you and I did, it was kudos to the father or the genes and not the mother and for very bad, vice versa. The only generation which is gridlocked looking after her own family, her husband’s family, her parent’s family and also her daughter’s/son’s family. Our generation is counting on them for our toddlers if possible at all and many a times you see couples pull strings at all ends to make it possible too.
A mother is not just the first school but the constant supplier and installation of emotion system in a kid . How when the world seems to be in the enemy team, mother is the only ivory tower. She has never tossed, she has never chosen. When you become a mother you realize what has gone into the making of you while there is a world you can do to make her swell with pride.
She is never credited with the most ignored /never mentioned job of world, gave birth to your heart and kept it alive. She’s the only entity who says with belief and you believe it without a shudder ”You are a miracle”.
After all, she gave each one of us “Book of Life”. While we never realized that we even had one, living each page as one day she gave you the first blank page at the first second of our existence, leaving you as the proud author. You see it has nothing to do with one’s accomplishments or at times the very question we asks ourselves about the worth.
How I wish I could just give her back only one thing…..
Her time, her youth she has spent on me …………
Following the very subject it was no brainer, the creation of this souvenier (that I will realise when I turn 40:P)
Sari : Gifted by my friend to both my mother and me.It’s a Banarsi cotton silk. Checks is the safest bet 🙂
Jewelry : Gifted by mom